Umbrella Etiquette

posted on: Tuesday, May 17

Dear fellow New Yorkers,

I have lived in this fine city for almost six years now. I have accepted the fact that people are still confused about which side of the sidewalk to walk on, and that because of this I will generally be smashed into at least seven times while walking to work {not including having to dodge those who are texting while walking.} I have accepted the fact that not a day will go by without being asked if I'd like a 'designer handbag' or 'amazing deal at a hair salon' whilst walking down the street. I've accepted the fact that sidewalks must be navigated like a mine-field for dog-sh*t. {Seriously folks, pick up the poo.} I've accepted the fact that if I decide to carry a coffee to work in the morning, I better have a darn good spill-proof lid and shouldn't bother trying to take a sip until I'm in the safe confines of my office space. And, I've accepted the fact that I will likely be smooshed up against a very smelly man on the subway if I'm not careful. I do have one qualm however, and that is that when it is raining, I am already too busy dodging texters on the wrong side of the street while hopping over nasty dog poo and yelling NO to the man shoving a $20 haircut flyer in my face while trying not to spill my coffee and attempting to make it into the subway on time so that I can find an empty car without a big smelly man inside. I really do not need the added pressure of being smacked in the face with your giant, oversized golf umbrella!!! So, please, get a normal sized umbrella and learn how to use it!

Thank you,

Image via pinterest


  1. I second this. You should have seen me this morning, I was desperate to get to this sample sale and it was torrential rain, but I ventured out anyway... I got hit so many times by spikes from golf umbrellas - cursing loudly all the way! Get a normal umbrella folks (else I am going to have to get a golfing one and go over to the Dark Side.)

  2. Haha, love the rant! All of that is so true about the city :}

  3. LOL!!! I felt this way every time it rained when I worked in downtown LA!!

  4. you are so freaking hilarious. i totally agree with all of your pet peeves! if i don't have one of those little green coffee-stick-thingers from starbucks in my drink, i will be covered. #fail

  5. as a former New Yorker - I couldn't agree more! very well said!